Today's Tidbits

Some days, my brain turns into a sponge: it absorbs every bit of sentence, phrase or word it hears. Imagine a recorder plus an amplifier. A beautiful piece of technology I got there.

Luckily, it does not cause any headache, but it could (this is time for probabilities and statistics). As a cure, I have decided to let it all out, like the water that comes out of the sponge when you squeeze it, see?

So, let's squeeze and play a little game of mental relief: first I will list the bits of sentences harvested today in the street, in the subway, on the phone, in live (surrealistic) conversations and then... You will see.

A-"I don't think we are ever going to make it there..."

B-"Désolée, je ne peux pas t'aider."

C-"Si vous ne résidiez pas sur le sol français, vous n'êtes pas imposable."

D-"Votre pièce d'identité est illisible."

E-"Sua mamma insisteva..."

F-"Je suis désolée, vous m'attendez depuis 9 heures ?!"

G-"Je ne peux pas te parler, j'ai envie de faire pipi."

H-"Demain je dois préparer mon concours."

I-"I was up all night to research some links..."

This should already give you an idea of the type of characters I bumped into today: people from all countries, all paths of life, funny, pathetic, lazy... Lots of admin related hassles...

Now a little game: every time I grabbed a pice of conversation - whether voluntarily or involuntarily - I automatically produced a comment, not always friendly I have to say... But who cares? It is not like people could hear me anyway (I am in a rare mood today, might have noticed).

So, match my responses to each of the sentences above (and win lots of gratitude from my mean self):

1-Another GPS-spoiled kid in town.

2-Oh yeah? Want a medal for that?

3-Ben oui, mais je sais, c'est un complot patronal qui est à l'origine de tout ça.

4-Sinonimi.

5-Tu mérites pas de l'avoir, fainéant.

6-Les mensonges, ça vous tuera.

7-Je comprends - t'es occupé sur Facebook.

8-Un couple moderne c'est ça.

9-Le miracle du jour.

N.B. Should have told you this before, but the language used in each response matches the one of the original sentence - makes perfect sense to me, but you know... thought I would specify...

Enjoy the little game and dream sweet conversations lovelies!

Credit: Fubiz